I have three, no -technically four granddaughters that I never get to see because of the failed relationships of my sons and their mothers. It’s a tragedy but sometimes I wonder if God had a reason for this.

I raised two boys although I had three. The oldest, my mother secretly adopted and raised as her own. He was involved for a minute, long enough I guess, to produce a child, found out about it much later, and by then the girl was with another man. I know it’s his daughter though because I’ve seen her with my own eyes and she looks identical to him.

The middle son had two girls from two failed relationships, both of them his own damn fault. Basically, when the going got tough, he bailed out. The grandchild pictured is his second, being raised by the man who stepped up to face the challenge. And she is. She’s a joy but an energetic ball of energy.

His first, Delaney, is his clone and we were in her life til she was about three. It was then that her mother met a new guy and instead of just cutting Joshua out, she cut all of us out of her life. It was horrible and David’s mom really suffered. She missed her so much. But Sharlyn would not give in, no matter how much we all begged.

Then there’s my baby. His girl was just batshit crazy. She just took Briley and when the fighting was over, she’d flat out disappeared. We’ve had sightings of her (years ago) at some friend’s backyard bbq. No sign of her since. She’d be around thirteen now, I guess.

I wish I had pictures to show you, but they would be baby or toddler pics from my Facebook account. It makes me so sad when people ask, “Do you have grandkids?” I wish I could proudly say yes! Show off their pics, and brag about their achievements. But I was robbed of all of it. Four people, my blood and David’s, yet I can only do any of that with the one we keep a relationship with.

Proof we were once part of her (Delaney’s) life

Rayven. Who lives in Ohio, way far away from us. But we made the trip last year because by God I was going to meet her in person and spend time with her. Try to get to know her a little bit, and her parents. Thank goodness Ray came along and loved Taylor enough to marry her, and Rayven enough to be a father to her. Because I was determined enough to stay in touch with Taylor, we were able to Face time with her. We also used Marco Polo to record calls back and forth.

Then we got to meet in person and I loved every minute of my time with her, and I know we will someday make the trip again. We have sent her birthday and holiday gifts, I got to swim with her and go to the park. We stayed in a hotel so I didn’t get to spend the night with her and see some real family interaction. Ray works nights and Taylor works days to make it work so that they don’t always need a sitter. Her mom is close by when she does.

So yes, I have grandchildren, but you may use caution before you ask me about them. Unless you want to hear the long drawn out saga you just did. Because how else do I explain this mess?