Uncategorized, Writing

Change of Plans-Trying to Stay Positive

Things don’t always turn out like you planned, I know that anyway, yet was still disappointed this entire holiday season when my mother-in-law became ill and had to be hospitalized first on Christmas Eve, then again on New Year’s Eve. She is still in the hospital now, poor thing, with complications from her cancer treatment. We should have noticed sooner that she was having a hard time taking good care of herself, she laid around too much, we told ourselves she just didn’t feel well and thought her next treatment might remedy that. It did not. She began to rely heavily on her pain medication, which caused confusion and lethargy, she couldn’t take care of her dog, and her house became messy. We helped when we could, we should have tried harder. Now she is in the hospital with blood clots and pneumonia, bad circulation and fluid-filled lungs.

I feel so sorry for her, but they are taking good care of her. Because of her absence, Christmas just wasn’t the same. Gone also was my middle son who lives too far for us to go get with everything we were dealing with, he has no car, and his girlfriend is blind, so she can’t drive. We still have not done Christmas with them, due to mom-in-law getting sick again New Year’s Eve. I’m hoping we can all get together this weekend, but I’m not holding my breath, because again, things don’t always go as planned. I’ve discovered over the years that I’m too optimistic, maybe too positive for my own good. I tend to view the world through rose colored glasses where my husband is sometimes pessimistic and negative, and that gets on my nerves. I love him dearly, yet I wish he would just try to change his attitude toward things. We had been invited to a New Year celebration with friends and before anything ever happened, he had already made up his mind that we would not be able to attend. Me, on the other hand, knew she was in a safe place at the rehab center, so I went ahead and made sausage balls to take to the party. I sent the word to everyone that we would go, and then went to visit her again. She had encouraged us to go to the party since she was feeling fine and didn’t need anything, however on that second visit things changed. Once there I noticed her feet were swollen and purple and made the nurse take a look. Next thing you know, back to the hospital.

All this is not to say we didn’t enjoy our Christmas, we did. We had a houseful and yesterday my husband cooked New Year’s dinner for us and my Dad and brother came and ate with us. That was nice, just different. Not celebrating on New Year was different. We didn’t even feel like popping the champagne, it still sits, unopened in the fridge. It is hard not to let it get you down, yet I am trying to make the best of things. I want to start the year on a positive note, yet today is cold, dreary, and raining with freezing temps, and all I want to do is stay in and read, write, or whatever I can do to stay warm and comfortable. My Dad and I normally do lunch on Wednesday and then play pool for a few hours, yet I don’t think his shoulder is up for it and the weather is so yuck, I don’t want to get out if at all possible. I may just ask him if he minds not doing it today. We will see how I feel once I get dressed and moving around.

Currently, I’m at my makeshift desk (the dining room table) next to the still decorated Christmas tree, the diffuser is on spewing a lovely aroma of Frankincense and a calming blend of citrus essential oils into the air to combat my sinus problems I’ve had FOREVER. I’m watching the rain come down through the dining room window, the squirrels are still scurrying around gathering acorns despite the nasty weather and my pets are probably curled up on my bed in the back bedroom. It’s dark and quiet back there, I don’t blame them.

I’ve had an update from my husband that they are going to drain the fluid in mom-n-law’s lungs, the blood clot is almost gone, and she will likely not get any chemo for the time until all her issues are resolved, if ever. So some things are looking up and he is looking for a new rehab facility for her to go to after the hospital, so say a prayer that all works out. The plan is for her to eventually go to an assisted living facility when she is recovered enough….remember what I said earlier. Let’s hope for the best in this case!

My hope for you is that your holidays were beautiful and your plans went great, and that your New Year started off with a bang. Maybe mine will get better in time, for now, I’ll hide and watch. Have a wonderful Wednesday everyone, wherever you are!



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