I once told my husband that when we get rich someday, I will wear gauze, that flimsy, almost see-through fabric that is light as air, yet looks so expensive. I have one blouse made of the stuff, I almost never wear it, but I’m home today, so I put a camisole on first, then the top. It’s white, so it makes me look washed out, I don’t care. I am home today, free from commitments, free to read and write, because one day a week HAS to be dedicated to writing, or I’d never get a thing done. Today is a heavy writing day, I need to get busy.
I want to be rich, or at least, well off. I want my husband to stop working and enjoy his golden years with me on a beach somewhere, doing what he loves…fishing. I want my writing to pay for all this, I kid myself though, evidently, I don’t want it bad enough. Thank God he has provided a future for us, if nothing catastrophic happens to either of us. I love him so much, but I’m a planner. I want things set in place, a plan for our future so we are not denied what we have earned with our blood, sweat and tears. I pray God let’s us see that day. My husband says to stop worrying so much and just live. I wish I could.
I was contacted by text and then by email from some random lunatic, claiming he loves me and hopes I have a wonderful day. Who this nut is, I have no idea, nor do I know how he found my number and email to send his weird message to. I did not recognize the name. I deleted both. My husband would flip out. That is what greeted me when I awoke from my deep slumber this morning. Weirdo! I’ve changed all my profile pics so they show my husband and I, yet I still get stalked by random males, even on Instagram and Words with Friends. What is wrong with these people?? Can they not see that I am married?
I stare at my face in the mirror, I hate my hair, my red nose, I know the cause, but I am not ready to stop it yet. No more than I am ready to stop vaping, and boy am I out of shape. I sit too much. I’ve been reading all morning, emails, stories on Electric Lit, doing my Spanish lessons. How does one fit in exercise when your “job” requires so much sitting? The struggle is real, people. Maybe I will fit a walk in later, if my knee doesn’t start aching. Ok, enough now, I need to get done and get to writing, already I have a scheduled webinar I should attend in the middle of the day, that will interrupt my writing time, I need to get with it.
I’ve wasted too much time already, I wash my face and put on my new base, a shade slightly darker than before, so I don’t look like a ghost all summer. I’ll finish the rest later…teeth, makeup, pills…the regular ritual. I’m home today, so I don’t need to bother with it now. Wandering into the kitchen I feed the dogs and then myself, something quick and easy, then head for my office, my sanctuary. I stare out the window for a second, the flowers he gave me need watering, yet it looks like rain may come. So many things need to be bought to make my front yard look presentable. River rock for the beds, plants, we need to take out more bushes, and I have a ton of flowers I want to buy. Alas, I am not rich…yet.