Normally, getting back into my exercise routine and sticking with it makes me feel strong. Even if it’s just a walking program that I do every day, slowly increasing the distance until I’m at three miles a day again would be fabulous. However, my body has other ideas lately. Is it from sitting around so much when I had COVID, losing my dad, not dealing with my grief or am I just that out of shape…and how did I get THIS out of shape?
Another thing that makes me feel strong is making my own decisions. Feeling like I’m in control and not doing something to always please someone else. Not that I mind pleasing others, it’s what I do. I’ve been caring for or taking care of someone for so long, I am finding it weird having no one but my pets to take care of. My husband, he takes care of himself and no amount of suggestions or pleading from me will change that. I love him, don’t get me wrong, and if he is sick, or hurt, of course I take care of him. Volunteering is one of those things I made the decision to do. Spending my own money to take a course to learn something new is another.
I spent four and a half years in the Army. I learned a great many things, one of which is being independent. Letting someone take care of me is hard, even after thirty plus years, but since Dad passed away in November, I’m finding it just a little bit easier.