Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “ode.” Find a one- or two-syllable word that rhymes with “ode,” or use the word “ode.” Have fun!

Ok, my head is about to explode!

I went over to check on my dad this morning, he recently fell on the driveway and had lots of soreness, scrapes, and I couldn’t reach my son who lives with him. Turns out his phone was on the charger, he was there helping Dad get dressed and arguing with him about why he needs to wear his undergarments all day as well as at night.

When I walked back to his bedroom, Sean told me Dad either fell out of bed last night, or fell trying to get up. Neither one is good, and two falls in one week is concerning to me. I have no idea what we are going to do, but something has to change. My brother and I are going to get together tonight and talk about options. Living with me is not an option. If Dad were to fall, I’m not strong enough to pick him up. I’m surprised Sean was able to both times.

Recently, I flushed his commode, and it overflowed! That was a mess from hell, and no one wants to deal with it. I felt like a plumber should be called, or a new toilet installed, but what do I know. Neither idea got any support. I told Dad don’t flush anything but human waste and a tiny bit of toilet paper. So far so good.

I’m thinking it’s time to start thinking of assisted living, because although Sean is there all day working, he can’t be coming out to check on Dad except at break and lunchtime. I go over several times a week and still worry constantly that when I leave, he will fall or something else will happen. Having Parkinson’s, being hard of hearing and unable to speak anymore due to Aphasia is taking a toll on everyone. I take care of all jus appointments, I arrange his medication, but he fights me on it. He is starting to forget it sometimes too.

I asked his doctor to arrange for home health on Thursday, I’ve yet to hear anything back. My brother and I are also trying to get him benefits from the VA, which will take forever I’m sure. I don’t know if home health is the answer. Being unable to communicate, I doubt home health will have the patience to figure out what he needs or wants. I think he would be happier somewhere where his meals will be on time and healthy. There will be people to attend to his issues, people to offer activities and so on.

My dad is stubborn too, thinking he can still do things like help in the yard, when clearly he can’t. He is prideful and I believe he has some dementia. It will be extremely difficult, but I think it’s time for a change. Wish us luck and say a prayer that we come to some resolution to this problem. I only want the best for my dad, and I want peace of mind. My knots have knots from constantly worrying and I’d like to be able to rest and know he is being properly cared for. My son is doing his best, but he is not a trained caregiver. My brother works out of town a lot. I’m exhausted and it’s taking a toll on my marriage, because my husband knows I’m always worrying about Dad and not being present on us and our life.

PS: I am getting treatment from Airrosti for my shoulder and it seems to be helping. Exercises, stretches, and manual manipulation by the doctor are releasing some of the knots slowly but surely.