I wanted to share the lyrics of a Disturbed song here…

But the lyrics are too vulgar for family audiences. So I’ll just share a snippet:

Why, do you like playing around with
My, narrow scope of reality
I, can feel it all start slipping
I think I’m breaking down
And why, do you like playing around with
My, narrow scope of reality
I, can feel it all start slipping awaySee but I don’t get it
Don’t you think maybe we could put it on credit
Don’t you think it can take control when I don’t let it
I get stupefied
It’s all the same you see
Live with it but I don’t get it
Don’t you think maybe we could put it on credit
Don’t you think it can take control when I don’t let it
I get stupefied
I get stupefied

There is the g-rated section of the song, but even that can’t help me explain to you how I’m feeling about my current situation with my dad.

I am stupefied as to how his insurance doesn’t see the need and the urgency to get him into a rehab facility. I am fearful that if he goes back to his home, the falls and the injuries will continue to happen. He is angry now and wants to go home, he thinks he is good to go home. He is not. They did take him off the new medication his neurologist put him on, just in case that is the reason he is unbalanced and keeps falling. There are other issues though. He’s forgetting to take his meds. He is stubborn and won’t take his Miralax unless someone is there to make him drink it and he has been constipated for who knows how long. He won’t use the walker at home, etc…I could go on, but there’s too much that is TMI.

My brother and I have told the charge nurse he will not be in the hospital over the weekend if we have to sign him out against doctors orders. The bills continue to rise and there’s no medical reason for him to be there now, except for safety. His wounds are almost healed, and other than the above mentioned, all he needs is rehab to learn to use the walker and/or get stronger so he can go home. I am not looking forward to today. He was angry when I left last night, so I have no idea what I’ll be walking into. The charge nurse said if he does not get placed somewhere today, she will expedite home health coming in to help him at home. We’ll see.

There is hope, however. My brother finally got a call from the VA, we have a face-to-face meeting in September on the 28th. That’s to see if Dad can get benefits. Then, if he has to go into assisted living, maybe they can cover part of the cost. We are hopeful, but I’m not optimistic. Medicare pays for none of that, as far as I know, so we would be on the hook for the rest of the cost. He has no long term insurance. Also, my brother secured a lift chair and is taking it to Dads house today! Maybe that will be helpful when he comes home.

So, as the rest of the world is in turmoil, my small world is my family, I pray we all get through this together. I see what is happening all over the world, but my main concern right now is my dad, beyond that I’m numb. Thank God I have a supportive husband who understands and is very worried about me and my own health. I’m trying to take care of myself and my household at the same time, but had to cancel my own therapy until we get this mess sorted out. I have a hard time leaving the hospital, but after staying all night the first night, my body is a wreck. Those chairs don’t sleep well at all and Dad moves and moans all night long.

Say a prayer for good news today, and thank you for letting me vent. I love my blogging community, you are all so caring and supportive 🤗🥰