I’m sorry I haven’t been around the past few days, I have been trying to juggle so many things this week.
Sunday we had an awesome church service, which was hard for me to get the full effect of from in the choir loft. of course I want to be there, but all I see is the back of everyones heads unless they happen to turn and acknowledge us. In addition, the sound is different from back there. I can’t tell what we sound like from the front, but I heard we sounded very good. I’m so glad, because this was a very special service! We had a paper burning ceremony because as a church, we just paid off a $9 million debt! We had all kinds of special guests, including the Bishop, and several former pastors.
Monday night, I had my grief support group which was great, but left me drained and feeling tired and washed out. I am still learning so much about the grieving process. We go through waves of happiness and then sadness, even now. It’s ok if I don’t feel like getting off the couch, it’s understandable if I feel like I’m losing my mind, and it is ok to have moments of bliss…how rare are those on a normal day anymore? It’s ok if I’m not ready to go through his pictures yet, I will get there. In the midst of all these feelings, we are trying to get his house ready and presentable for the estate sale, and eventually, the sale of his home. I didn’t work over there Monday but I will be today.
Tuesday, we went back to DFW National Cemetery to have his honors ceremony. The funeral home made a mistake and we had to reschedule it. I was overwhelmed with emotion right before the soldier gave me the flag, so tears were streaming down my face as he presented me with it. Add to that the gray and gloomy day and you can see where I might be a bit weepy…
It was nice of my husband to capture the moments so I could share them with my boys and Dad’s nieces.
Wednesday was crazy. I started the morning making the dog’s food so it would get done because I knew there was a lot to do. I had Bible study group, then had to take my car in to Pep boys to have a tire replaced-long story- and lost four hours of my day! I knew I’d have choir practice that evening, so I came home, did my exercises, unloaded the dishwasher, and called to schedule the dogs for a much-needed grooming. There was more mundane details but they aren’t important. Choir practice was a mix of serious work and silly fun. We have quite a mixed bag of ages and personalities, some of the younger ones get the choir director, Patricia, kind of worked up. In my eyes, they are being rude, not giving her their full attention, but she is easy-going most of the time. I would have to put him in his place, but she lets it slide.
Today in just a few minutes, I’m joining a friend from Kevin’s church to help price kitchen items at Dad’s for the estate sale. We need to get another table, so I may have to have my brother go pick one up from my sister-in-law’s house. Tonight is date night and appropriately, it’s Cinco de Mayo! Tomorrow morning I take the dogs to be groomed.
So that’s been my week so far, in a nutshell.