Your prompt for JusJoJan January 27th, 2022, is “understanding.” Use the word “understanding” any way you’d like. Enjoy!
One of the pastors from my church, Donna McKee, gave me this book-Understanding Your Grief but as I was reading it, I realized there is a workbook that is supposed to go along with it. I ordered it! Last night it came in and today I did my first bit of journaling from where I had read so far. It is a lot of writing, but so therapeutic. I need to do this work.
Long gone is the innocence I had when I was young. I can’t be sheltered from the pain or pretend it doesn’t exist. I don’t have parents anymore. Dave and I have that in common now. It’s a sad truth that I have to make peace with, little by little, day by day. If I keep reading, journaling, talking, writing, and praying, I will get through it. I must keep attending Zoom meetings on grief and seek other’s counsel. I don’t want to burden David with my feelings anymore, he has enough on his plate with work. I can always talk to my brother. Some people may be thinking that I should be “over it” now or I should “move on” but it doesn’t work like that. Everyone mourns and grieves at their own pace.
While it feels comforting to have Dad’s ashes here in the house with me, I think I will get more closure once he is at DFW National Cemetery next to Mom’s ashes. That will be an important step in the grieving process. I will be emotional when that day comes but that’s ok. It’s all part of dealing with my grief. It’s also important to understand your grief and dispel the myths I’ve always heard about “stages” etc. You should read the book if you’ve ever lost someone and feel like you did not make peace with it. I went through all my grief and mourning over my mom all by myself. I didn’t have this book or a network of people to really talk to. Maybe this process will help me address some lingering issues I have with her death as well.