Writing Prompts

#JusJoJan & WOD Challenge 1-30-22 Unprepared

Your prompt for JusJoJan January 30th, 2022, is “prepare.” Use the word “prepare” any way you’d like. Enjoy!

You know, as long as I had been taking care of Dad, and before, when I was just spending more time with him, I thought I was mentally prepared for his eventual passing.

Dad and I at a movie 2020

I could not have been more wrong. When the news came, I was home and he was in what was supposed to be his forever home…the best place we had been trying to get him to for so long. I was unprepared for that phone call. To make matters worse, I thought there was a chance he might not have passed away because the owner said he stopped breathing, and the paramedics were there and were going to perform CPR.

I won’t rehash the event, but suffice it to say, my heart was ripped out and I was wracked with guilt. I wasn’t there. I didn’t get to say goodbye. He should have had more time. All of those things and more tormented my mind and sometimes still do. I was in shock. Even Micheal, the owner said he thought they would enjoy many years together. He was visibly shaken.

The point is, I knew he was old, sick, and recovering from 4 broken ribs still. He barely ate once he got to the rehab. The situation was going downhill. I should not have been surprised, my heart was what was unprepared. I tried to rationalize the fact that when he was here, before the fall, we had been doing good. In reality, I knew he would need to go somewhere soon and we were already looking for the best option. Unfortunately, after the fall, things snowballed. We went from the hospital to a rehab, to a week long stay at a skilled nursing facility, to Micheals group home, all in a matter of weeks, all while dealing with lawyers, and consultants on where the best place for Dad would be.

The majority of cases like this turn out this way, yet I still tried to convince myself that had he stayed with me, or had I done a better job somehow, we would have had more time. Maybe he was preparing me for the fact that he was tired of this world and ready to go. I don’t know. When he was here, before the fall, he worked hard at his pt therapy. He wanted to get stronger and more self reliant. After the fall, he worked hard, but I think he knew he was never coming home. I think he started giving up then.

Ok, I said I wasn’t going to rehash, and still did. I am still trying to work it all out in my head. I wish I would have appreciated more the time we had together. I wish I would have asked all the important questions about his life, his history. Now I have no one TO ask, they are all gone. So, I was unprepared in that way as well.

Love and appreciate the ones you’ve got. Know them! It makes a difference when they are gone. Prepare yourself for the day they will pass, but love them and appreciate them while they are here. ❤️

Word of the Day Challenge
Writing Prompts

#SoCS & JusJoJan 1-29-22 Day Trippin

Your prompt for #JusJoJan and Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “let go.” Write about the first thing that comes to mind when you think “let go.” Enjoy!

Do we get to go?

Dave and I always go run errands on Saturday morning, usually after a breakfast out. Today was not typical, but I had to let go and just relax as he drove us all the way to Wylie.

What I didn’t realize right away was he had an ulterior motive, and I kept trying to guess where we were going. He said I’d know when we got there. All I could think of was what we could and should be doing, but he does this from time to time.

He drove straight to the cemetery where his oldest brother, Charlie and his granny and other relatives are buried in the Allen family plots. I was dismayed the flowers were empty, had I known this is what we were doing, I would have had him stop and get flowers first. Men!

We roamed around after that, went by Aunt Wanda and Uncle Max’s old place which is gone now, tried to go to Lake Lavon and walk off our heavy brunch (a cheeseburger and onion rings from Dixie House) but it was closed to day trips due to construction or something. so, we went to the Firewheel mall and walked around a while. Then, we drove through Garland to see one of Granny’s old houses (still there) and then dealt with the horrible traffic and super narrow roads of the old neighborhood. Finally, we headed home and Dallas traffic was awful as well.

Once we got back on our side of town, we ran to Sam’s to get the meat for tomorrow’s dinner. Got home, shed our hot clothes and traded them for walking clothes, harnessed up the dogs and went for a brisk walk. They did great! They were so excited to get out and walk, because we rarely take them. They normally don’t do well on a leash, but today they barely broke our stride-we did a mile in 22 minutes, not bad with dogs! I closed two of the three circles on my Apple Watch, so I feel somewhat accomplished.

We may have taken a detour, but we did everything we set out to do and i got a bonus day trip in the process. It’s good to let go of control once in a while! Now I’m off to change clothes again so we can go out to dinner.

Writing, Writing Prompts

#JusJoJan 1-28-22

Your prompt for JusJoJan January 28th, 2022, is “abscission.” Use the word “abscission” any way you’d like. Enjoy!

My corner garden a few years back.

The Garden

The garden’s abscission

Creates a soft cushion

Protecting the bulbs from the frost

Springtime comes and we rake it away

Making room for new growth

The bulbs were a gift, and pots I add later

But goodness knows I love them both!

Writing, Writing Prompts

#JusJoJan & WOD 1-27-22

Your prompt for JusJoJan January 27th, 2022, is “understanding.” Use the word “understanding” any way you’d like. Enjoy!

One of the pastors from my church, Donna McKee, gave me this book-Understanding Your Grief but as I was reading it, I realized there is a workbook that is supposed to go along with it. I ordered it! Last night it came in and today I did my first bit of journaling from where I had read so far. It is a lot of writing, but so therapeutic. I need to do this work.

Long gone is the innocence I had when I was young. I can’t be sheltered from the pain or pretend it doesn’t exist. I don’t have parents anymore. Dave and I have that in common now. It’s a sad truth that I have to make peace with, little by little, day by day. If I keep reading, journaling, talking, writing, and praying, I will get through it. I must keep attending Zoom meetings on grief and seek other’s counsel. I don’t want to burden David with my feelings anymore, he has enough on his plate with work. I can always talk to my brother. Some people may be thinking that I should be “over it” now or I should “move on” but it doesn’t work like that. Everyone mourns and grieves at their own pace.

While it feels comforting to have Dad’s ashes here in the house with me, I think I will get more closure once he is at DFW National Cemetery next to Mom’s ashes. That will be an important step in the grieving process. I will be emotional when that day comes but that’s ok. It’s all part of dealing with my grief. It’s also important to understand your grief and dispel the myths I’ve always heard about “stages” etc. You should read the book if you’ve ever lost someone and feel like you did not make peace with it. I went through all my grief and mourning over my mom all by myself. I didn’t have this book or a network of people to really talk to. Maybe this process will help me address some lingering issues I have with her death as well.

Word of the Day Challenge
Writing Prompts

#JusJoJan & WOD 1-24-22

Unbelievable Sketches

I decided on a whim to google the prompts for #JusJoJan and The Word of the Day Challenges. Oh, before I get to that, here from Linda is our prompt:

NOT Paul Cadden’s work!

Your prompt for JusJoJan January 24th, 2022, is “unbelievable.” Use the word “unbelievable” any way you’d like. Have fun!

In case you didn’t know, the word of the day is sketches.

What I found blew my mind! I discovered the work of Paul Cadden, who’s sketches are so realistic, you will swear they are photographs. I found these on a site called Inspiration Feed

Inspiration Feed featured many other artists as well, all very talented. But you just HAVE to see Paul Cadden’s work.

It is so protected, that I couldn’t even find an example to show you on wikipedia! You will just have to go to websites!

From Inspiration Feed

I hope I don’t get in trouble for copying this off of Inspiration Feed’s site, but I just had to show you the level of talent I’m talking about! The above picture is a sketch using pencil on paper! Is that not mind blowing?!

Word of the Day Challenge